Beautifully Skinny

Adrianna. 15. London. "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ It’s sad because I can see myself having so much potential, if I were just skinny. Most girls my age don’t usually have to think about trying to get thin twenty-four seven, but for me, that’s my day to day life. I just can’t see myself ever being happy in life, if I can’t be thin. It’s almost to the point where I think what’s the point of living if I’m not happy, basically saying if I’m not skinny. It’s sad really, but the truth. This whole wanting to be skinny thing has really taken over my life for the past 4 years, starting all the way in 6th grade. Every day it’s adding up everything I’ve eaten, going on the scale multiple times, or just weighing myself after every meal or drink. Every single damn day it’s the same thing over and over again. I always tell myself when I wake up that today is the day that I will start a diet, and stick to it. But I make a promise that I will only lose weight the healthy way. But then I end up screwing up, and possibly, maybe even purge to get rid of all the bad foods I ate that day. I’ve kind of grown out of the whole purging thing, but I would be lying if I said I never do it anymore. But I don’t want this in my life; it is simply just not living. I don’t want to see myself have to go through this until the day that I die, rather that be sooner or later in life. I want to be happy again, like I was when I was a kid and had no worries. But the thing is, I cannot achieve happiness if I’m not skinny. Many of you will try and tell me I should just be happy with my body, but don’t bother. I know for a fact I can never be happy with my body, it’s just not how I work. God created me the way that I am, and I can’t change that. I don’t want to see myself go on in the life the way I am now, because that is simply not living. No one should ever have to go through what I do, and it makes me sad because I know that there are many other girls struggling with the same problems I do. So that is why I decided to re-do parts of my blog, to help me get on track again. My life has gotten so out of hand with the last unhealthy weight loss, and its time I lose weight the healthy way. I am going to start tomorrow, and I can’t wait. I just want to give a big thank you to all my followers and supporters who have spent the whole “Beautifully Skinny” journey with me, and you all have truly seen me in my ups and down. I cannot thank you enough for your support and encouragement. Progress Blog will be open shortly.